Even harder than making the decision to sign up for a marathon and then training for a marathon, is when you realize that you're not going to finish the marathon.

Despite HORRIBLE allergies, I was feeling great the morning of the race. Rested, relaxed, confident. In the start corral, I remained calm and even managed to meditate a bit despite the chaos going on around me. The way I saw it, it was just another day and just another run. The start gun went off and not even 10 minutes later I was crossing the start. I enjoyed the uphill grade at the start, the hill really helped to start me off slow and steady. Then it was downhill, I hung back nice and easy and let everyone else fly past me down the hill. It was surreal to run down Hollywood Blvd, no tourists and no cars! Emily, Lindsay and Larry were just past the 4 mile mark... they were an awesome cheering section, Emily with her megaphone. Liberty and Andy were waiting for me after mile 8, with high fives and lots of supplies. For the record, wet wipes are amazing. I left them feeling all rejuvenated, still feeling like it was just another day and just another run... it still didn't feel like a race at that point. I was doing a good job at sticking to my race plan, stopping at every water stop to eat and drink, and staying upbeat. I was running nice and steady and felt like I had so much energy to spare.

Things started to change after I stopped around mile 12, I finally gave in to the need to visit the porta-potty and of course I got stuck at one with a line. Once I stopped the momentum, that's when things started to go downhill and that's when it started to feel like a marathon. I thought Bridget and Jim were waiting for me just past the half and that was my motivation for the next mile. When I didn't see them, I figured they were somewhere else on the course, but the thought did cross my mind that I might have missed them. I was starting to get a headache, which then I attributed to my allergies. By Mile 15, I was unbelievably hot, cramping really bad, and was out of salt which would've helped the cramps. I was then down to a pathetic jog/walk... more walk than jog. I stopped to stretch and I didn't feel any better after. Around Mile 16, I knew something was really wrong. The headache got worse and I was really light headed. I wasn't dripping with sweat anymore and I definitely should have been. I started looking for someone official to help me... and didn't see anyone. The light headedness was turning into dizziness.

I was so lucky that at this point a TNT coach from Orange County approached me. As soon as she looked at me, she realized something was seriously wrong. I explained to her everything that was going on. She then sprayed some topical analgesic on my crampy legs and stuck right by me as we walked to the Mile 17 water stop. I focused on her voice to get through the dizziness. At the water stop, I sat down in some shade and she gave me salt and lots of water and Gatorade. She asked around to find out where the next medical tent was. Found out it was at Mile 18. Someone at the water stop had ice packs, I held one to my forehead and she held one to the back of my neck. Once I had as much liquids as I could handle, I got back on my feet to walk to the med tent. She took some gatorade for the road. I was feeling a bit better and realized that I didn't know the coach's name and finally asked her name... Sara. I was so out of it that it didn't register that her name was on her bib. We took it nice and easy, I held one of those ice packs to my head and sipped on Gatorade. Just before the turn to Mile 18, Jim and Bridget were there on the corner. The had made really funny signs for me. They also had pretzels, a big bottle of Gatorade, and wet wipes for me. I stopped and snacked, used the wet wipes which felt so good on my hot skin, had more Gatorade. Just around the corner was Mile 18 and the med tent. I sat down and they put ice packs all over me, fed me more gatorade and pretzels. I didn't want to lie down, because I knew once I did that I would be hard to get back up. But the lightheadedness was still bad and I knew I had to. I laid there for a while, ice packs all over my body. I thought maybe if I rested for awhile and cooled down that I could go on and finish. After I had time to rest awhile, they took my blood pressure and it was quite high, 150/110. They had a doctor come see me and he told me that I should not go on. I knew he was right but I was pretty upset...
upset, disappointed, and pissed off. That's when the flood of tears ensued. I called Liberty at that point, got her voice mail, left her a message saying I was being transported to the finish. I think I scared people who walked by, they must have thought I had broken a bone since I was crying so much.

The shuttle showed up a few minutes later and Sara walked me to the shuttle, then told the driver she was coming with me. I was amazed, I couldn't believe she was going to leave the course and her participants still on the course. She helped hold ice packs onto my neck while i held them on my head and under my arms. Once the shuttle started moving, it took forever to get to the finish. There was so much traffic on the streets around the marathon. And of course it was hot and stuffy in the shuttle, which made me feel worse. After what seemed half an hour on the shuttle and countless circles around downtown, the driver let us out near the finish. As soon as I got out into the fresh air i felt so much better. Sara and I made our way through the crowd and had to hop a fence to get into the finisher area and to make our way to the TNT tent. Luckily Liberty was smart enough to go to the TNT tent when she couldn't get any info from the med teams at the finish. Sara had called the TNT tent to let Emily know what was going on, Once we got to the tent, Emily was so relieved when she saw me. Sara put me in Emily's hands, I gave Sara long hug and she then she was back on the course to find her participants. On my way to the reunion area to find Liberty, I stopped at a med tent to get my blood pressure taken. At that point it was 130/80. Obviously on it's way back down and I was feeling significantly better and better.

I'm still kinda pissed. I know I don't have anything to prove, since I have run marathon before. I was doing all the right things, but even after doing all the right things, circumstances can sometimes get the better of you. At least I was able to leave the race on my own two feet and not on a stretcher. Sometimes being stubborn is good, but I'm glad that I didn't let my stubbornness get the better of me. I've never lost consciousness and I'd like to keep it that way. And of course, it's been a learning experience. No more warm weather marathons. And perhaps I need to consider running with a fuel belt again. That's right , I'm not letting this stop me